I Create therefore I Am

If you are what you eat, are you what you do? I sell shoes but I don't really want to be defined by what I do for a living. Right now I'm writing, so does that make me a writer? If so, I'm also a singer, an actress, a comedienne, a photographer, and a painter. I prefer those lables.

I've started up painting again today, adding to a long abandoned partially started canvas that I've been waiting for inspiration for. The problem with me is the first brush stroke - after that it always gets easier. I'm a perfectionist who is far from perfect, and who is usually bitterly disappointed with the imperfect results.

The thing is, my paintings never look like the picture I've got of them in my head. That image is perfect and flawless, and I'm an imperfect flawed human being, so I'm coming to terms with the fact that they will never look like my ideal. If I look at them from that point of view, they're almost a living thing, like a child that you create in your image, but has a will of their own and go off on tangents you could never have imagined.

At this point in time, my 'children' are wild and untrained, kind of like the dodgy neighbour's kids that you wouldn't want playing with your children because they'll teach them bad habits and give them cooties. My plan this year is to get back into painting lessons so I can have the necessary skills to train my 'children' to behave themselves and be the model of propriety (letting them off the leash every now and then to run free), so that the vision in my head and my actual ability to create what I imagine come that little bit closer. My painitng teacher is in Thailand at the moment, but I'll be starting back as soon as he gets back to Brisbane.

Another Jacqstar Creation is just around the corner, I can feel good things on the way!

Roll out the red carpet

Hooray for Hollywood, it's Oscar time!

I love the Academy awards, the glitz, the glamour, the stars - the Frocks!! I love them so much, I named my shiny (most of the time) gold car Oscar. Now all I have to do is find some crimson shagpile for the garage so I can walk the red carpet every day to get my Oscar!

Every year for ages, I attempt to see the movies that are nominated for Best Picture, and as many others as I can, so I can judge for myself. I love to watch the show with my nominees list and see how my choices fare with the Academy's choices.

This year, and last year there are ten movies nominated for Best Picture. I've only managed to see the 5 nominated movies in years gone past and I didn't even get close last year. I intend to see as many as possible this year, but the mind boggles why they've increased it to 10. I can't afford to see that many movies, not to mention all the cool ones I want to see that are nominated for costumes, visual effects etc.

So, the nominees are:

Black Swan
The Fighter
Inception
The Kids are All right
The King's Speech
127 Hours
The Social Network
Toy Story 3
True Grit
Winter's Bone

The three movies in bold I've seen so far; so three down seven to go - will I do it? No. Some movies haven't been realeased yet, some might have been and gone, but if I get to see 5 or more I'll be happy. I'm planning on seeing The Black Swan tomorrow night, sothat will make 4.

Stay tuned...

Paying it Forward.

I love Facebook.
I can plant crops on my very own farm, chop down trees on the Frontier, have my own cafe, be the mayor of my own town, and occasionally catch up with friends and see what's going on in their world.

The status of a friend caught my eye one evening:

Pay it Forward 2011: I promise to send something handmade (or homemade!) to the first 5 people who leave a comment here. They must in turn post this and send something they make to the first 5 people who comment on their status. *The rules are that it must be handmade/homemade by you and it must be sent to your 5 people sometime in 2011. (No, your kids don't count as something homemade, so don't send them to me!)

It seemed to fit in well with my theme this year, so I'm in. I've got to make something especially for 5 people and get it to them somehow. So far I've only got 2 takers, a friend who's currently in Abu Dhabi!!! and my cousin, who I haven't seen in about 20 years, so we're using this as an excuse (not that we should really need one) to get together after all this time.

I'll keep you posted on who's getting what, and if you have any suggestions on what handmade kinds of things I can make (although I've got several ideas already), I'd love all ideas.

Stuff.

Stuff –noun

1. of which anything is made: a crystalline stuff.
2. be worked be used in making steel, and stuff for building.

3. filled with some soft stuff.

4. property, as personal belongings or equipment; things.

5. something to be swallowed, as food, drink, or medicine.

6. Informal . action or talk of a partistuff; Cut out the rough stuff.

7. worthless things or matter: to clean the stuff out of a closet.

8. worthless or foolish ideas, talk, or writing: a lot of stuff and nonsense.

9. Informal . one's trade, skill, field, facts, etc.: She knows her stuff.

10. Slang . any kind of drug, esp. an illicit one.


So that's Stuff in general, but what specifically do I want out of this year? My Stuff has several categories:

* Tidying up Stuff
* Learning Stuff
* Doing new Stuff
* Stuff that I've put off for far too long
* Stuff I've wanted to do and have never gotten around to it.



I've made a preliminary list of some of the Stuff I intend to do, from the mundane to the (hopefully) exciting:

1. Get to my goal weight and keep it for the rest of the year.

2. Compete in the Bridge to Brisbane again but this time jog and better the time I did last year.

3. Instead of putting things down and forgetting them, I'm going to finish the projects I start.

4. Do a small business course and get started on getting Jacqstar Creations up and running

5. Go back to painting lessons and generally get more creative this year.

6. Generally get off my butt, get out of the house and be with lovely people.

My cousin suggested I go bungee jumping, but I will not jump off a perfectly good bridge or out of a perfectly good plane. Other than that, please give me suggestions of places to go, things to do, things to see stuff to do etc.

January - off to a good start???

A friend said that I forgot to list a very important meaning of Stuff :

verb - to fill (an aperture, cavity, etc.) by forcing something into it.

Well, he can go and get stuffed ;)

Last year I picked myself up, dusted myself off and started all over again, and went back on Weight Watchers. Starting at 83 kg in May, I managed to get down to 70.1 at the beginning of December when all Hell broke loose and Christmas with its array of yummy food arrived. As at the 1st of January I am 73kg and determined to kick start myself back into healthy habits with both food and exercise. Fortunately, a work collegue handed me a free one month trial pass for my local Fernwood Gym.

So off I went, gave them my name rank and serial number and promised them my first born child and joined up for a month. My first class was a 'body combat' class - think kickboxing and aerobics rolled into one. The instructor was a female 'Commando' from the Biggest Loser, who yelled instructions till my heart was about to burst and my tuckshop ladies arms wanted to fall off. I couldn't walk or raise my arms above my chest level the next day, so of course I did the same class each week!

I've been a (reasonably) good girl - Jenny from work also got the month's pass, so we've been encouraging each other, and have been using the cardio machines after work. Now I just have to wean myself off chocolate and alcohol for a while and I'll be back on track :) - hopefully!

January 2011 will go down on record as the time of the Flood. I am one of the lucky ones who lives on the high side of Brisbane. We didn't get affected by the flood, but I've been effected. Lives were lost. Homes and posessions ruined. It didn't diminish the Aussie spirit though.

I wish I were one of those people who roll up their sleeves and get stuff done. I've got friends who did exactly that. They were the ones who got dirty and smelly and mucked out stinking mud from people's homes, and went on the search for bodies. I did my small bit, but I feel guilty that I haven't done more. I took some clothes down to the local collection centre, gave some money and food, and am helping out with some stuff for a garage sale to help a friend who's been effected by the flood. I know that not everyone can be a volunteer. They were even turning people away at one stage because so many people showed up to help. we all have to do our bit and are all pieces of the larger puzzle. as long as we all do SOMETHING and not sit complacently on our butts, it will all help.

On a more domestic note, I've done a few things I had been putting off for a while: sewing a button on a pair of trousers and fixing the belt that goes with it. I repaired some broken beaded bracelets that have been sitting on my desk for months, too. There's one thing you really need to know about me: I use the 'horizontal filing' method of putting things away - I find a flat surface to put it on and there it stays - sometimes for months. I keep walking past and looking at the item, thinking 'I must fix that/ put it away/ find a spot to put it/ do SOMETHING with it... but rarely do. It is with that in mind, I get excited when I get to do something and putting it away - reclaiming one more bit of space :)

That's pretty much the summary of January. My intentions are still good, although I've fallen off the healthy eating wagon already, but I'll be good in February I promise!!!

New Year's Resolution(s)

Yes, it's that time of the year. The time we make promises we know we won't keep, or attempt to keep at least for the first week of every year. The Dreaded New Year's Resolution!

I've got a girlfriend who made her New Year's resolution every year to give up smoking, and did - for half an hour till the cravings hit her then she'd reach right into the packet and light up another cancer stick. Until one year, when her closest and bestest friends decided to help her on her quest to be rid of the Demon Tobacco. Unbeknown to her, we hid all the cigarettes in various locations around the room of her boyfriend's house, some hidden in plain sight. Then come 12.30 am right on the dot, she'd go, 'Bugger this, I'm weak willed, I need a cigarette!', but her packet was empty this time around.

What followed was a sort of scavenger hunt with us, the well intended friends saying, 'getting warmer...', and the Lady in question getting increasingly frustrated, not to mention royally pissed off, with looking for 20 or so cigarettes hidden around the room. I vividly recall a cigarette sticking out the mouth of a carved wooden seahorse on the wall; one of the funner hiding places. In the end we all had a good laugh about it and were severely chastised for our efforts.

I have good intentions every year and this one is no exception. For the most part, 2010 for me was a giant pile of steaming poo, so I'm hoping for a more positive 2011. Well, I'm trying to be more positive in 2011. And to make myself more positive this year I'm going to do Stuff.

Different Stuff. Stuff I intend to do and never get around to. Stuff I'm too scared to get out of my comfort zone to do. Probably mostly mundane Stuff. But stuff nevertheless. And I'm going to write about my Stuff, and ask for suggestions, and take you along for the ride, cause knowing me I'll get bored, or procrastinate, or just go back into my shell where it's warm and cosy and I can play Frontierville all evening and not have to actually achieve anything.

So come along with me, help me do my Stuff, and hopefully I can help you achieve your Stuff too :)